the battle begins at YES
It’s been a minute since I’ve had the dream…
I’m about to go onstage, furiously cramming to prepare what I’m about to say. I’m not ready, and about to go down in flames.
It’s always such a relief to wake up and realize I still have time to avoid this nightmare in real life. Because the truth is I am generally prepared for the events I commit to. But that doesn’t keep the subconscious part of my brain from understanding there’s a risk involved.
Saying “yes” is the easy part. The FUN part. The “I’m really doing this!” part. Then comes the rollercoaster.
I experienced this recently in a different way. As some of you know, one of my favorite things to do is what my husband and I call “soaking worship” nights. I’m still looking for a better name (feel free to suggest one), but essentially they are two hours of atmospheric music combined with worship and gentle scripture/spoken word, designed to provide a therapeutic space to rest and recover from the challenges of life. It’s tender and delicate work, and we love it.
Satan hates it.
As my schedule has opened up a little this fall, I went ahead and put four of these on the calendar, as a step of faith toward more actively flowing in this creative vein. Recently I was sharing confidently with a friend about the next one coming up. I had just sent out invitations and started getting responses. Later that day, the doubts set in…
Your voice is out of shape.
People aren’t going to show up.
Who do you think you are to be doing this?!?
That last one is the most important one, I think. Because one of the enemy’s most effective tactics is to make us question whether we really belong in the space we feel called to. Which, at its root, is an attack on our identity, one of the deadliest weapons in his arsenal.
When you say “yes” to something God is calling you to do, it’s important to be prepared for the battle that will follow.
On a spiritual level, we know that our enemy, Satan, comes to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10). And while he knows his efforts won’t often PREVENT you from doing the thing you said yes to, he delights in STEALING your joy, KILLING your dream, and DESTROYING any sense of goodness along the way.
Here are a few of his favorite tricks…
Questioning your ability, usually through comparison
Stealing your time to prepare
Creating relational conflict
Accusing you of wrong motives
Interrupting your sleep
Attacking your physical health
Drawing you into drama and distraction
And then, once you’ve somehow managed to push through and do the thing you felt called to do, EVEN IF IT GOES GREAT, he comes behind with self-criticism (I wish I’d said that differently), more comparison (they didn’t seem to respond to me as much as to that other person), disappointment (I had hoped for a different result), and fear (what if I never get another opportunity?).
Sound familiar? That’s good news, actually. Because it means there are more of us in this soup than not. Which means we ought to be able to meaningfully support each other along the way.
And this, my friends, is a key thing to remember: COMMUNITY PROTECTS CREATIVITY.
When you’re feeling kicked around as you pursue what God is calling you to, don’t keep the battle to yourself. Reach out and let someone know the internal and external chaos you’re experiencing. Tell them how they can support you, and how they can pray. And be intentional about providing the same gift of intentionality to other creatives you know.
Finally, pay attention and don’t be surprised.
Go back to the tactics I’ve listed above, and make a list of your own. When the wheels start falling off as you knew they would, chuckle to yourself and remember there’s a reason the enemy is trying to rough you up.
And then go do that thing he’s scared of you doing.
And give it your ALL.
For TRUTH…
- cr
