redemption is coming
A few years ago I went through one of the hardest seasons of my life. During that time, I felt like the wind had gotten kicked out of me. I struggled to get through conversations without crying. I spent too much time in bed. I put my dreams on hold and lost touch with my true, FULL self.
Honestly, for a while I didn’t know if I even wanted to return to my full self, because I knew that doing so came with risk, and when you’re feeling beaten down there’s not a lot of emotional capacity to tolerate risk.
So I just kinda hid for a bit. Which felt safe but also sucked the life—and light—out of me. It also stole from those I love, who lost the mom, wife and friend I used to be, replaced by the shell of a human I had become.
That’s a lot of sad stuff, I know, but I’m sharing it for a reason…
As I navigated that really hard season there were certain things I clung to just to keep from drowning in despair.
I read stories in the Bible about people who experienced rejection and hardship but didn’t give up. Like Nehemiah. And David. And Jesus.
I did regular “check-ins” with people who were FOR me, even in my broken state.
I went to church on Sunday mornings - a place we’ve been long enough to know the stories of many members - and would think to myself, ”that one had cancer,” or “that one is going through divorce,” and feel strengthened by the reminder that people all around us go through hard things, too, and that there’s always a choice to praise in the midst of pain.
And so I would sit at my piano sometimes and sing songs to remind myself - to the inner core of my being - that God was good and that he had good plans and that he is always there for us. For ME.
Often during this season a little chorus I rearranged musically from its original form in Elevation Music’s “Graves into Gardens” became a mantra over three chords that I would sing on repeat:
”You take what the enemy meant for evil, and you turn it for good, turn it for good…”*
And my mind would return to the stories I had been reading…
Nehemiah stayed true while men tried to defame him. And the wall was repaired in record time. David hung in there when he was hunted down. And his prayers and praises still reverberate. And Jesus - he carried it all: betrayal and shame and physical torture and even death. The greatest redemption story ever told.
In my own story, over time the heartache healed. Fear felt less present. Dreams began to materialize again. I am forever changed by what I had been through, but I was also starting to see glimpses of new fruit— the “good” God had done, and continues to do, with the evil intended by the enemy.
If you’re going through a difficult time right now, I am tender for you. So is Jesus.
I am so grateful to have had people in my life who stuck with me during my lowest moments, and my prayer for you is that Jesus would surround you with love like that, too. And that you will receive it. Because you are NOT alone. And your story may be hard—impossible, even. But not for God.
His way is redemption. And he is bigger than any person or power who tries to stand in the way of it. Even you.
It’s ok to wrestle and wallow for a bit. That’s just an honest part of being human. But the sooner you lean in to Jesus’ love and healthy community, the sooner you’ll see redemption happening.
And that, my friend, is a true tonic for even the most difficult state you might find yourself in. Because when we can begin to imagine a hopeful ending to the story, even the hardest chapters become more possible to endure.
If this was a message you needed to hear, then let this be a little reminder that he SEES and KNOWS and LOVES you. I’m praying peace and comfort over your soul today.
Your redemption is coming…
For TRUTH,
- cr
*if you happen to follow me on Insta, I shared a short clip this morning of me sitting at the piano and singing this. I pray it blesses you.
