compassion, agency, + letting go of offenses
As a fellow-creative, you’ve probably learned by now that engaging in whatever form your art takes brings with it the inherent risk of rejection. It makes sense, really, because by its very nature creativity is subjective, and not everyone is going to “get” your vision. Even if its incredibly awesome. Which I often tend to think mine is.
I’m sure yours is too…
When someone rejects, disregards, or (worse) tries to “edit” our creativity, it can be hard not to pick up offense. Especially if they do so in a non-intuitive, uncreative or uncaring manner.
Recently I was on the receiving end of this, and as I paid attention to the emotions it stirred, I realized there were quite a lot of “feels” happening on the inside.
I felt minimized.
I felt misunderstood.
I felt angry.
Mostly, I felt sad, because what could have been conveyed in a kind, collaborative manner simply wasn’t. That really was the hardest part for me, because caring for hearts is one of the most important things we are called to as humans, and particularly as humans who follow Jesus.
I’m not someone who regularly holds grudges, and I knew I didn’t want to pick one up now. So I phoned a friend…
As I shared about the storm brewing on the inside, we talked through the bigger-picture implications. The way the enemy loves to shut people down. The way he likes to cause division. And the long-game of how a wrong reaction in this situation could potentially impact things much farther down the road when it comes to continuing to use my voice in ways God is leading me to.
And then there was the fact that the person behind the hurtful action was in the midst of some tough stuff in their own life. And for that, I can easily have compassion.
Once I landed there, things got a lot easier, because there is something about choosing to walk in compassion that restores our personal agency. Rather than succumbing to the role of “victim,” we get to choose to give the gift of grace to those who have hurt us. Even if we don’t feel like they deserve it.
Compassion doesn’t exonerate wrong actions, but it does give us fuel for navigating them in ways that bear positive fruit.
On that note, I am pleased to report a happy ending to this particular story. Within less than 24 hours of choosing to conduct myself with compassion, the person who had done the hurtful thing reached out to apologize. And it was a real apology.
I felt heard.
I felt seen rightly.
Things felt restored.
Love - 1: Devil - 0.
Except for those few cuss words on the phone call to my friend. Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll show more restraint next time :).
For TRUTH…
- cr
